Wednesday, July 26, 2006


It is the nicest word that I have for the last several months.

Thanks for all Italian Companions that have arranged everything for tomorrow trip. I haven't done anything for this trip.... and maybe It is the first thing in my life.. I'm being a parasit... just taking from community and not giving anything.

Thanks for
Mary for arranging the flight, lodging, and review the plan
Roberto for arranging the plan and touristic object
Marco for booking the lodging
Marta for buying train ticket

and I aint do anything.. :( Cattivo

I hope after this event I can back to real Yudis
and not pretending smile even something miserable happens.

Like Cocoon that goes for meditaion for while before it achieves next steps of better life.
Maybe vacation on Denmark can bring the same philosophy.
We can learn from everything in the world, depending on the way we think about it.

Bismilla hirrahman nir rahim

Happiness is the aim of the human being life.
what is the happiness?? [hahaha that's the real question]

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


Today, we have a plan to arrange a dinner before everybody leaving for Summer Vacation.

Someone "special" is the one that has that initiative, that's very nice isn't it?

But unluckly, I have many things to be finished in two days.
I know my limit and my priority.

If I'm Yudis at several days ago.. so I'll skip my work and attending the dinner, and work like a hell afteward.

But, as I declare my self, that I need to change to move on and keep your priority and plan...
so I need to keep working til all things finish, and skip the dinner... :( [argghhhh]

Somehow, I don't agree with my decision but what can I do... the commandment has already declared and the word has already given. Man will be honored because what he says.

I wish she is upset (it means my existence is something) but she is understand with my situation.

Sorry..sorry sorry... sorry... :( WONDERFUL

Monday, July 24, 2006

Occhio non vede, cuore non fa male

That's another quote that I learn from the wonderful.

Many things we can do beyond our capability since we have a belief and a will.

If there is a will then there is a way
I can do many things as long as I still have a will or motivation to do so.

it is a feeling/a mental state that motivate you to do something. This thing comes from your sense (e.g., eyes, skins, ears, nose, etc).
It is a mental state/feeling. So, it is not necessary that is coming from the thought.

What are the sources of the motivation:
- any type of feelings: from hate until love
- any type of belief
- anythings

You do something because of you can or you want.
Ax1: doing --> can or want
You want to do something because you have motivation
Ax2: want --> motivation

Einstein said, "The nicest thing in the life is living for someone and not from someone"

because someone feels honorable to have X, then I'd do X
so I can say it is a motivation to do X

what happens if now, it embarrasses someone?
so I don't have a motivation anymore
P1: !motivation

I don't have any capability to end this.
P2: !capability <-> !can

Ax2: want -> motivation
!motivation -> !want (there is no motivation, means I shouldn't want anymore)

Ax1: doing -> can or want
!can and !want --> !doing

I think based on my logic I need to stop to do it.
And move on....
Today is 1 step, if tomorrow I keep doing it so at least becoming 2 steps.

Jika aku tak melihat maka mungkin lebih mudah aku tuk mulai melupakan dia.

Thanks for the last words WONDERFUL

Friday, July 21, 2006



Today, I feel bad.. :( even I stay in nice place for Summer School

Miss somebody... and even worse, we have a small roar before.. :( so it makes me even more uncomfortable.

No Phone Credit, so I can't do anything
No Internet Connection, once I have She is not online
No Internet Phone, because I lost my headset

Want to buy Phone Credit through internet, I can't because my credit card limit is reached after paying hotel for summer school.. :(

why they happen in the same time....
So "PERFECT" life.. :(

Friday, July 07, 2006

Thanks to the Earth

Hi the Earth,

I wish you can read this statement
[leave me a sign if you can read it, can the Earth write in Blog? hihihihi]

Thanks for everything....
For teach me:
How to behave
How to react
How to keep the principle things above of everything

And for nice time and opportunity also.
It's a long time, I live in your hold without any thanks, even implicitly.

As a human, I always live to exploit the Earth,
and now it's the time for the earth demanding.
Therefore, I'll be away for while to adjust everything in order to suit what your demand

you're really strong and I'm damn sure you're not weak at all.
Surely, I'm too Haughty to say all, directly
Sorry for that

Ego is necessary, but there is an amazon, even bigger, between having Ego and being Egoistic


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm K****N pengen ketemu...
one day more...[always one day more in any point of the time]

You can do it.... :D

The capability of a man is unlimited if he wants.
It is the case also for the stupidity.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

JAMES BLUNT - You're Beautiful

My life is brilliant.
My life is brilliant.My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,And I don't know what to do,'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,Flying high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,And I don't know what to do,'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Monday, July 03, 2006


Once I have a feeling .....I failed to proceed it.
I have lost it in the last 2-3 years...
and now I have it... happy and feel relieve.

Actually, I've know she doesn't has the same feeling towards me, but I still go forward.
finally, Last night she speaks up and wants someting for me...
She wants me to end it....

because she wants and because of me
fiuh... back to the phase 8 months ago, close the feeling and life as YUDIS in the last 2 years

hihihihi That's a life